Oh dear. What have we all done to deserve movies like this?
Clearly it is a form of punishment for us movie lovers. The only thing that is horror in Boogeyman is the fact that it got made and some poor people out there paid good money to go and see it. I, at least, have the minor consolation that I watched it on TV but it sure as hell made for one depressing night in.
The first irritating thing about this is having Sam Raimi’s name splashed across the publicity work. He is an “Executive Producer” on this, one of those wonderfully vague titles that are bestowed upon certain people, allowing them to take credit if the project is a success even if they have contributed little. Of course if it is not a success then they can wash their hands of it and point the finger at the director, in this case – Stephen T Kay.
A quick glance at Mr Kay’s online biography informs us that he has directed “Lethal Weapon 3, among others”, no less. I would suggest that they might have been better off putting Peter Kay in the director’s chair. It is safe to say that Raimi has not had too much influence on the on-screen action for this. The Evil Dead legend is simply not capable of creating something as bad as this, and yes, I have seen Spiderman 3.
Boogeyman starts with an attempt at a scary opening scene but it is not even remotely close to setting a satisfactory tone for the movie. The scene is predictable and complete nonsense. After watching this, we realise we will now have to sit through at least half an hour of story and character building before the next “big scene” arrives.
A young boy witnesses the death of his dad, seemingly caused by something lurking in his bedroom cupboard. The story then cuts to 15 years later, where he is still coming to terms with his father’s death and decides to confront his demons by returning to the house of his childhood. Tim is played by Barry Watson, whom I have never seen before or since. I know this because I would recognise the facial expression. Seriously, his face never changes during the 89 minutes running time.
Tim is troubled – he can’t sleep at night, is scared of cupboards and is a pretty damn miserable guy. Yet he still manages to have a glamorous girlfriend. Astounding. Later on we get to see his school friend, Kate, (Emily Deschanel, sister of Zooey) who is a bit of an all round weirdo. The kind of person who comes round to your house and if you don’t answer the door she will just go into your home anyway and look through all the rooms.
This, I am guessing, is supposed to be the intense scene of the movie as we are supposed to care about this woman – who creeps around someone else’s house. We don’t, so it isn’t.
So what have got in this one, scares-wise? To be honest – nothing. What we have here is the dreadful loud-noises-are-scary approach. It could be argued that this causes a minor fright as we are all snoozing while having to go along with the story and also from watching Tim. None of the attempted scary scenes come off. Comic moments are included near the end thanks to some unbelievably bad CGI when we finally get to see the much feared Boogeyman, in all its glory. One of the worst creatures you are likely to see. Turns out that counting to 5 and willing it away is the solution to getting the wretched creature out of your life – although as an alternative I would suggest laughing in its face.
If there is one positive to take from this experience then it is knowing that if any young kids are scared of the Boogeyman stories then they can watch this movie and see that really there is nothing to be frightened of.