REVIEW – The Woman In Black

I must admit I’m not an expert geek of all things Harry Potter but I really enjoyed the films. So I was delighted to be asked to go and see the latest film and tell you all what I thought of Harry Potter and The Woman In Black. I couldn’t wait to see the boy wizard’s latest adventure.

But wait. I am a little confused. A few things have changed since the last outing. Obviously with Voldemort dying in the last film, Harry needed a new baddie. And a new setting. And a new cast. But no eye candy in the shape of Rupert Grint? Disgraceful. Presumably it clashed with the filming of that Ed Sheeran music video he featured in. Which is a shame. He really missed out because this is definitely the darkest and by far scariest of the Harry Potter movies to date.

Of course I’m kidding.

Arthur Kipps (Daniel Radcliffe), is a young lawyer and single parent (with nanny) living somewhere in the generic Edwardian era. He still grieves for his wife who died young during the childbirth of his only son and it’s taken it’s toll on his work ethic. His bemused boss tells him he must get his arse back in gear and pronto mister or else face being made redundant. The boss then sends him packing to the outskirts of London to help put the estate of the deceased Alice Drablow and Eel Marsh Mansion in order. This is Arthur’s last chance to prove he is worthy of the firm he represents.

After a short train journey, Arthur is welcomed into the nearby town like a pervert arriving at a children’s tea party. You know the way. Like the Americans at The Slaughtered Lamb or Edward Woodward arriving in Summerisle…There are things in this place no stranger need know about. Every one of the locals keep egging him to go home or tries to force his hand in leaving but he has to stay to keep his job, to feed his baby who has no mummy. He has no option but to set off for the mansion everyone tells him not to go to, to collect all the paperwork to do his lawyer thing. The mansion is isolated on a small islet and can only be arrived at during brief intervals when the tide is out and it’s only path is crossable.

Who would live in a house like thiiiiis...

Eel Marsh Mansion is a massive, old, rundown house with it’s own graveyard, tall iron black fences and often engulfed in thick mist. And it has it’s ghost. The titular woman, who’s story is unravelled as the creepiness intensifies and the startled jumps increase in volume.

And that’s the thing about The Woman In Black. It’s all…very similar. It never strays from the norm. At all. If you placed The Woman In Black movie poster above into the dictionary next to the word ‘conventional’, it would sum up the meaning of the word much better than any actual words could. You’ve seen this all before, most recently with the likes of Nicole Kidman’s The Others.

But there is nothing wrong with conventional if everyone on the project knows exactly what that is and how to achieve it. There is nothing wrong with conventional coming from the pioneers of the genre, Hammer Horror. And there is nothing wrong with conventional if the whole production is carried out with grace, plenty of entertainment value and, most importantly, the scares. And trust me, there are plenty of genuine scares. A few popcorn everywhere and young teen girls screaming ‘OH MY GOD!’ moments.

Most jumps, admittedly, are things appearing in shot with a large BOOMING sound effect. Most of the creeps come from close ups of Victorian doll faces, wind up toys mysteriously going off and slightly ajar doors in the near distance. There is very little blood. There is very little in the way of laughs. This is a traditional Hammer Horror movie and a welcome return to it. The British horror scene is back and taking on the Japanese and Yanks with what they do best. This feels like the beginning of a new era by going back to basics and showing the world what we can do.

It’s masterfully done. Director James Watkins delivers the remit with aplomb. His producers will be most happy. And they will be very pleased with their choice of Radcliffe who is in almost every shot of the movie and yet never fails to deliver a genuinely good performance. He’s slowly becoming a very watchable, bankable star. His eyes speak a thousand words where Jane Goldman’s script has none. I can’t see him getting the nod for best actor gongs just yet but that grimacing chin and Churchill Dog head wobble which faulted most of his Harry Potter performances are gone. Most of the time. His future is looking bright and one can only hope that this Watkins/Radcliff collaboration won’t be their last.

The rest of the cast are simply peripheral. This is Dan the Man’s show from start to finish.

Keep that chin in check Harry, erm Arthur, sorry...Dan! Dan.

I’m sure a few critics out there will bemoan the cheesy ending but I thought it was perfect.

This is a movie that likes being a movie and wants you to remember it for being a great movie experience. This isn’t a hardcore, blood smearing, shotgun driven, American punk rock soundtracked, zombie exploding holocaust of a flick. There’s no need for a genuinely horrific ending. There’s even less need for it to have that typical final, fatal jump right before the end credits. That’s what the Americans would have done and most of their movies suffer because of it. That kind of stuff is so predictable. This was a welcome change. They try and produce franchises these days instead of meaningful ends to the tale. No imminent sequel is always a bonus in this day and age as far as I’m concerned.

So to sum up – it’s conventional, predictable, beautiful looking, well directed, well performed and has a few genuine chills and jumps. Come to think of it, it’s absolutely nothing like the other Harry Potter films. But Harry Potter fans and horror fans alike won’t really care about that because they will all genuinely enjoy this movie for exactly what it is.

It’s an old fashioned horror film. It’s a ghost story set in a creepy mansion in the days of yore. It’s everything you’d expect from that type of movie, from these genre tropes, and it delivers with penache and without disappointment.

The Woman In Black is in cinemas now.